plz talk dirty to me
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
Randomize
