am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
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