Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
my phone needs a breathalizer
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
Randomize
