I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
The only dream I remember having is one where my dad's sperm turned into baby hippos. Like, tiny baby hippos, pocket-sized. I am so fucked up.
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
I'm bleeding and have questions
Randomize
