she asked me if the dress made her look fat, i told her no - the fat made her look fat.
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize