Dear everyone that texted me last night wondering where i was. i ended up face down blacked up drunk before i made it to the party. My bad
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
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i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
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Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
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