How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
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