sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
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