no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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