The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
Xanax induced break ups are the best. Since I'm a professional fiancee, I'm going to break up with them on Xanax from now on. It didn't hurt one tiiiiiny bit.
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
Randomize
