I think I just saw someone hide a body.
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
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