these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
Randomize
