I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
now i know why i became what i already was.
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
Randomize
