talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Randomize
