maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Randomize
