hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
too bad you live with your parents still
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize
