Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
Randomize
