you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
Randomize
