When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
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