He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
I'm passing your future prison.
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
Randomize
