She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
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