We won't sleep together?
just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
Last time i carry you out of a forest
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
Randomize
