This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
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