No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
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