I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
