I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
This spray tan I used isn't working out. I spent an hour exfoliating and rubbing the damn stuff in with rubber gloves. I wanted the alluring, sun-kissed, sexy look. I've achieved smelling like burnt popcorn and the cats won't stop licking me. I'm a salt lick for cats.
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Randomize
