weddingsv make me drug and hornr
i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
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