A few issues tonight. 1) Drunk since 1pm. 2) At the bar at 4pm. 3) James brought his sister, who has enormous breasts, isnt shy about cleavage, obviously slutty, and makes me want to do things that would even have Atheists sending me to hell. However, she's wearing glitter, so all Im thinking about is Edward Cullen. Go ahead and rip up my Man Card.
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
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