good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
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