That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
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