I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
he puts the penis in happiness.
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
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