you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
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