Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
I just realized I haven't looked at our horoscopes lately. If mine says anything about tweakers, I'm burning my phone.
Oh shit oh shit oh shit.
BURN THE PHONE.
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
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