she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
not ubering you a puppy
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
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