Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
That blackeyed peas song was on, so I thought that was prediciting tonight was going to be a good night. And then my garage door opner fell and hit me in the head.
I literally just copy and pasted that from another bbm convo bc I'm far too stoned to explain that again.
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
Randomize
