The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
Tornado booty call.. dedication
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
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