Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
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