What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
Randomize
