Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
I touched a dick in church today
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
Randomize
