How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
Randomize
