I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
handjob tips. give me some.
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
Randomize
