Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
Randomize
