he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
This is the prime rib incident all over again
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
