Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Randomize
