are you still at the devil's house?
If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
