Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
That reminds me...we need to get swords
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
Randomize
