Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
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I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
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I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
You did what with his pubic hair?
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
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