i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
