Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
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