Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
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