Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
That was an excessively violent trivia night
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
Randomize
