me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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