He is such a slut. More and more my type.
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Randomize
