His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
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we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
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