Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
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