I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
she woke up with a sticky ear
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
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