i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
there was a trapeze. enough said
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
Randomize
