At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
Randomize
