That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
Just heard someone use the phrase "slut mustard" in a sentence. Win.
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
I can't trust your balls anymore.
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
Randomize
