soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
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