I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
Randomize