he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
The police scanner is talking about you again....
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
Randomize
