Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
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