Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
Is it acceptable to pay for WiFi on flights solely for the purpose of getting on Tinder to find a sugar daddy on the plane that doesnโt mind upgrading me to first class?
Do it. Youโre flying for two weddings. Youโre gonna need that first class.
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP ๐๐๐๐
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