I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
Randomize
