I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
Drunk is a universal language darling
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
Randomize
